Ah, what to do while 50,000 mugshot .jpg's compress...

Well, how about a Russian Lesson in celebration of the new school year. Yes, it is that time already. Summer seems to have gone by so quickly. Sorry in advance to any readers who don't happen to speak any Russian for one reason or another. You're welcome to stick around, it probably won't be too bad.

After hearing some children today, Pavel asked me, "whose kids are at the office?" I told him I didn't know and went to check it out. After finding out that they were Janice's kids, I came back and said something like, "эти Джаниса дети." (those are Jancice's kids) He told me that isn't quite how you'd say it. You'd say, "эти дети Джанис." That was interesting, I wondered why you wouldn't change the ending of Janice to show possession.

After some thought and examples, Pavel discovered a rule. It seems that you do decline names like Jim, Lance, and Linda, but you don't decline names like Shannon, Jamey, or Jeffery. Do you have a guess as to why?

This is why: Russian female names end in "а" or "я" (ah or ya), while Russian male names end in a consonant. So if your name is like a Russian name, in that it ends with an "а" or "я" if you're a girl, or a consonant if you're a guy, your name is declinable. Congratulations. But if your name isn't like a Russian name, like Jess, then your name is indeclinable. Sorry, but look on the bright side, Джесика is.

Argh! Still compressing. There has been 10 seconds left for the last 30 minutes.